Szarlotka a L'Americaine

After a lovely few days in Bangkok, we decided - enough with this city life. It’s beach time!

All was going as planned… we hopped an overnight train from Bangkok to Chumphon, where we were to catch a ferry to Ko Tao to begin our scuba-tastic adventure. Fantasies of idyllic Thai beaches and clear turquoise water in our heads.

Alas, that was not meant to be. We arrived in Chumphon around 4 am, and a mini-bus took us to the station where we waited for a while until another bus came to take us to the port. We hop on the ferry and head out on the 2.5 hour journey to the island.

About 15 minutes into the trip, the water started getting extremely choppy. To the extent that the crew of the boat started walking around to everyone on the boat and passing out motion sickness pills and throw-up bags. Finally, the boat hit a massive wave that crashed over the top of the boat, and flew through the front window, soaking all of our backpacks. People start grabbing their backpacks and running to the back of the boat.

Trying not to laugh, but...
There was an Italian guy in the front of the boat, who quite obviously thought he was a badass, to say the least. Über-tan, wearing a black wife-beater, black sunglasses on his forehead, hair gelled to within an inch of its life, barbed-wire tattoo around his bicep. You know the one I'm talking about. Anyhoo, the macho-man was trying to look cool by not moving to the back of the boat, but he was sitting in the front of the boat halfway curled up in the fetal position, crying like a baby. I kind of felt sorry for him....

At this point, the crew decided to turn the boat back around and go back to the port.

So there we are, stuck in Chumphon, when we meet some Poles who want to get out of Dodge, too. We hook up with them to hire a mini-bus to take us to Surat Thani, where we can either try our luck again with another ferry to Ko Tao OR we can just head the west coast of Thailand where the weather is supposed to be better.

Once we arrive in Surat Thani, we hop another bus that drop us off 6 hours later in the coastal town of Khao Lak....

Which is the beginning of another post;)

I’m actually quite embarrassed to be owning up to this. But as Marcin and I are both pretty seasoned travelers who are naturally skeptical of too-good-to-be-true offers in tourist areas, this scam was SO perfectly executed, I feel like it deserves a few lines….

First, let me preface this by saying that before we left on the trip, we had been told by more than one [trusted] source that Bangkok is an amazing place to have suits made – cheap and good quality. So before we even left the US, we had already talked about the possibility of having suits made.

The third day that we were in Bangkok, we decided to get as many of the must-see tourist areas out of the way as possible in one shot. We take the BTS from our hotel in the Sukhumvit to the center, and started out looking for a Tuk-Tuk to take us around. We walk about one block to where we had found a tuk-tuk stand the day before, and lo and behold – there’s our guy. We negotiate a ridiculously low price for the ride, and hop in.

As a side note, for those of you who haven’t been to Bangkok, it is pretty typical for tuk-tuk drivers to offer you an insanely low fare to take you around the city, during which time, they will try to convince you that you should go to “special” jewelry shops and other random tourist trap stores, as they get paid a commission for bringing in unsuspecting tourists. Most of the jewelry shops have fake or crap stones that they try to pawn off on tourists who don’t know any better. They will typically also try to sell you some positively false story about – “oh you here good week. Thailand government has one-week only sale at this store… Tourists normally can’t shop here. Good deal.”

Marcin and I were fully aware of this, and were quite prepared to fend off the jewelry monsters.

And I digress… SO… off we go on our whirlwind tour of the must-see tourist spots. First stop – the lucky Buddah. And lucky indeed it was, as this is where we happened upon a master scam artist.

After asking the lucky Buddah for a little luck, we head back out to find our driver. He escorts us to the tuk-tuk, and then says he has to use the restroom, and did we need to go. We said no, so he asked if it was ok if he went. Well, of course. If ya gotta pee, ya gotta pee.

It just so happened that the tuk-tuk was parked right next to a nice SUV, and the driver of the SUV – a Thai with impeccable English - comes back to his car right as we are sitting and waiting for the driver. He strikes up a conversation about where we are from, blah, blah, blah, and then mentions that he is just waiting for his wife who is pregnant, who is praying to the lucky Buddah for them to have a boy.

The conversation continues on with small talk, and he asks us about our plans after Bangkok. For a good 5-10 minutes, we talk about the different beaches and islands in Thailand that he would recommend that we see. He then asks us where we are going in Bangkok for the rest of the day, so we rattle off the list of places that the tuk-tuk driver was going to take us. One of which was called the “Expo center.”

“Oh really?? How did you know about that place? It’s incredible because this place is not usually open to foreigners, and they make the best suits in Thailand. This is the one week per year that they allow tourists in.”

He then tells us about how his father is a doctor in New York, and he had just been there ordering suits the week before because his father will only wear suits made there. And that he had also had a few made for himself and his mother.

Seeing as he seemed to be quite trustworthy, combined with what we had heard before going about suits in Thailand, we bought it. Hook, line and sinker.

Our driver finally comes back grimacing and rubbing his stomach, and we actually feel sorry for the guy. But he just hops in and drives us straight to the Expo center.

This story is getting long, so I will try to condense this part – cause you get the point. We go to the tailor, the place looks nice, so we pick fabrics and styles, etc. And drop a very good amount of money on 2 suits and 2 coats. Naturally with the fancy cashmere fabric and all that.

We went back for a fitting two weeks later, and the pants seemed to be fine, but everything else was in such a preliminary stage, you couldn’t really tell what was going on. But we were assured that everything would be ready in a week, and that they would ship it to Poland for us.

Fast forward a month to our arrival in Warsaw. We have 2 suits and 2 coats that:
1) Don’t even remotely fit despite 2 fittings. (Marcin’s suit jacket sleeves are not even ¾ length)
2) Are only half made – i.e. – unfinished belts, sleeves that aren’t even fully attached… and that’s just the beginning of it.
3) Were SO polyester, if you put a match to them, they would disintegrate into ashes.

At least the story has a kind of happy ending… Our credit card company had our back.

I think the title is pretty self explanatory.

Marcin, my darling Marcin, is an avid photographer. And an incredibly good one. Armed with his little plastic Holga or the fancier (and decidedly un-plastic and very heavy) Mamiya, there's no coming between him and his shot.

Bangkok is just one big photograph waiting to happen. From the street food vendors to the dirty engine repair shops whose only glimmer of color comes from the über-embellished shrines to either Buddah or the royal family, everything is fair game. (And I'm not kidding about the engine repair shops - just see the photo on the right.)

After a lovely brunch at a street food stall for an extravagant $1.20 (for two people), bellies full we set off down the narrow street to explore more of the Sukhumvit.

Marcin spies a subject on the side of the road that he just can't pass up. He approaches the man and asks in international kabuke symbols if he can take a shot. And right as Marcin is about to start bending down to take the shot, a car approaches. The guy driving the car motions to Marcin to go ahead and take the photo, so he crouches to get the right angle and snaps his pic.

Of course, the crouching/framing element took a few seconds, and it seems that the driver who was intially indicating a willingness to wait for the photo decided that he would just drive around Marcin instead. Unfortunately, Marcin was very into his photo, and didn't notice this... So he stands and simultaneously takes a step back at the exact moment that the back tire of the car is passing directly behind him.

Luckily, he was wearing his hiking boots, or it could have been much worse... There was a giant tire mark going directly over the top of his shoe.

Ouch!! Not the best thing to happen when one is beginning an adventure that will require excessive amounts of walking...

Not to fear - it was only bruised, and he trekked on through it. He's hardcore like that. :)

Alas, I don't have the pic that Marcin shot on my computer to upload, so I will have to post it as soon as I am back in Warsaw next week.... Not to fear - it will be here for your enjoyment:)

I have been racking my brain trying to figure out the best way to organize our little adventure into a readable form.

So where better to start than where we … um…. started.

Oh – who am I kidding – I’ve already written a little bit about Bangkok – my thoughts on tuk-tuks, how we got stuck there for an additional week, so I won’t bore you with rehashing what’s already on the blog…

What else is there to add about Bangkok? Probably quite a lot.

So I will start with just a little funny story... Our first day in Bangkok, Marcin and I head off to explore the city.

In a fog of jet lag, we honestly hadn't read the guide book very well, and didn't know exactly where we were going. We had, in fact, just decided that we were going to go to the BTS station that was by our hotel in the Sukhumvit, and take it closer to the place on the map that looked like it had the most sight-seeing potential.

We go to the BTS station, and after a good 15 minutes of trying to figure out how to use the ticket machine, and decipher how many zones were were going through to buy the right tickets, we hop on the train. At this particular time, we are the only Westerners on the train. And I think it goes without saying that everything is in Thai. While neither of us is particularly bad at languages, having a combined background in Germanic/Romance/Slavic languages, ain't gonna help us one little bit in with Thai.

Yet from over in the corner of the car, we keep hearing the faint sounds of accented English. And after a little eavesdropping on this man's cell phone conversation (which is might add was incredibly easy as the Thai BTS is one of the quietest public transportation systems I have ever encountered)... what is this accented English talking about?

How the Dallas Cowboys got their asses kicked the night before.

Yeah - our first big public transportation experience in Bangkok is meeting a Thai man - who lives in Dallas, and is a big Cowboys fan.

Go figure.

Truth be known, I've been putting off updating the blog, just because... um, well... I've been lazy. There. I said it. I was being lazy. Basta.

Well that's all over right now, my friends.

I kept telling myself that I couldn't start writing about Poland and our experiences there until I had updated the blog on our entire trip through Thailand and India. And backtracking through two such incredibly rich and diverse countries as these was a wee bit intimidating as I didn't want to just skim over them and not give them their due - just because I'm excited about getting to the Poland part.

But seriously - what kind of a friend am I if I am not sharing with you the most embarrassing details of my acclimation to the land of Poles on a daily basis. Like how last week, I accidentally asked for dog & chicken at the butcher shop when I was actually meaning chicken breast. You people need to know that!!

It just so happens that this week, my darling Marcin is in Abu Dhabi on business, and I am in Texas on pleasure. Which means that I have no excuses for not writing about Thailand and India because of the distractions of Polish daily life. So that's what's going to happen. I'm going to catch up on Thailand and India this week, so that when I get back to Poland next Monday morning, I will be free to write until my little heart's content about anything and everything Poland.

Ah, the darling tuk-tuk.

Well - we're stuck in Bangkok for God knows how long at the moment. See photo on right of Thai airport - 11/3o/2oo8 - for reason why. Btw - yellow shirt is NOT giant tour group. And why after 4 days of the airport being closed, the government hasn't found a way to get the protesters out is completely beyond me. But that is another post, that I will most certainly get to later today, seeing as we have plenty of time. And crazy Marcin is just crazy enough to go there with his camera to get some shots. Hope he brings the Velvia color slide film -- perfect for the yellow. Ha ha. But on second thought.... that will give me plenty of time to run out to the grocery store to grab a bottle of decent wine, which I have certainly not had yet since I've been here. A good day it will be, indeed.

We are leaving in 10 days. 10 short and incredibly full days that I am sure will pass in the blink of an eye. Crazy.

Our going away party was incredible, and we will miss you people more than I could possibly convey in this post. However, if there is one thing that I have learned from all of my moves thus far - good friends ain't going nowhere. So kids, this is purely an opportunity for us to meet up in some crazy and random place and have bizarre lost in translation episodes of debaucherous fun.

Cheers to you all.

And don't think I won't nag you until your butts are in Poland visiting us.

And one more note....

As we were driving home yesterday evening, I caught a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror and noticed that I had a GIANT piece of pepper stuck in my tooth. As I picked it out, I realized I hadn't eaten anything in - oh - say - 5 hours. Meaning that giant piece of pepper stuck in my tooth had been there for HOURS! And no one said anything.



Ha ha - laugh all you want - but you're all on my list now. All except Tucker, who I think was at one point trying to tell me with his "Rrrffff rrrfff rrrrfff." Unfortunately I mistakenly translated that as "Go throw the ball for me, woman." My mistake. So Tucker - you're in the clear.

Just back from an absolutely fabulous Austin weekend. I mean seriously - I haven't had THAT many belly laughs in one weekend probably since.... oh ... my last trip to Austin. Crap that GB makes me laugh. And crap, I'm going to miss them.

I do, however, take great comfort in the fact that I have no doubt whatsoever I will be seeing these kids sooner rather than later on the other side of the pond. Seriously - so far, we've hung out in Italy, France, the Netherlands, Spain, London, NYC, DC, Texas, Iceland, Shenandoah... um... I could keep going, but I think you get the point. So I think it's high time Poland - and any other eastern bloc country we can fit in - are added to the list.

Plus, I just love Austin. When I moved back to Texas from London, I was really hoping that Austin would again be my destination. Alas, fate decided Dallas would be my new home, so what's a girl to do? And as for my personal life, Dallas has been great. Meeting Marcin, being close to my family and friends - was exactly what I needed. Professionally, it has been a complete wash. And that's putting it nicely. I have high hopes that Poland will be great personally AND professionally. For both of us. Yes. That is what it will be:) Completely confident.


Anyhoo, back to the weekend -- on top of the phenomenal company, and great food, we also finally got do something that we were hoping for a while .... gliding! Yay!

For those of you who don't know exactly what "gliding" is - it is basically flying in a plane with no engine. The glider gets "towed" up by another plane (to 3000 ft. for us yesterday), and then the glider keeps on flying using pockets of hot air to push the plane to higher altitudes.

I had originally planned Marcin's flight for his b-day weekend - that was my big b-day surprise for him - but for various reasons, things didn't work out then. So I was getting a little scared that we would run out of time and he wouldn't get to go.

But it just so happened that Sunday was a beautiful day, [the incredible pilot] Peter had some free time, the thermals were active (for Marcin's ride, at least;), the stars were aligned... And we BOTH got to go! OMG - best time ever! I can't wait to go again!

So once again - MANY MANY thanks to the Englones!

And Turtle -- listen to your mom or Auntie Cin's gonna have to come and... oh probably just buy you more cute outfits and sneak you candy when mom's not looking :) I'm a sucker, which I'm sure you'll figure out soon. Ssshhhhh -- don't tell your mom!

You can see more of our gliding adventure HERE

OK OK - I've been a lazy bum for the last couple of weeks. Not in the physical sense - more just in the blogging sense.

But people - gimme a break. We've been busy. This whole moving deal is a little - um - time-consuming. The move from the 'dust to s'lake was quite possibly the most arduous move in the history of all of my moves. Mostly because instead of gingerly throwing articles into boxes with the intention of unpacking them within a day or two, this time every single tiny little thing had to be wrapped in yards of bubble wrap and newspaper, chairs had to be boxed with styrofoam...

I basically spent the last two weeks fantasizing about big burly men with bubble wrap, tape guns and boxing peanuts. Dreamily flipping through Uline catalogs contemplating how much better life might be if I only had kraft sealing tape with a dispenser.

But all I have to say now is...

Relocation Phase 1. Complete.

Now, I have decided that it is in our best interest to spend the bulk of my time... uh ... researching things to do in Thailand and India :) Taking one for the team.... yes - I am selfless. Ha ha!

I have a confession. I am addicted. Yes. It's true. I have recently become completely obsessed with selling stuff on eBay. And it's not really the "selling stuff" that I have become so addicted to -- it's the "checking to see how my items are doing." Feeling the need to run home to check how the auction is going - that has SIX DAYS LEFT, mind you - is not normal. It's almost a high when I see that my total "gains" have gone up by $2. It's pathetic.

Luckily, I have my ever-so-sweet Marcin to keep me in check, as he seems to find goading me about checking my eBay status quite amusing.

But on that note, Marcin is addicted to Craigslist.

And if anyone needs a good kitchen table or a microwave - let us know:) Ha ha!

"Why the heck is she moving to Poland? Doesn't she know how many Polak jokes there are?!?!" -- My fabulous Aunt Linda's response to my mom letting her know about our move. Loves it!!!!

Bless Cin and his new toy. He gets more excited about little plastic cameras than... I don't even know. It's actually ridiculously cute. Or maybe I'm just a sucker:) Drats! Foiled again.

Anyhoo, sitting here coming up with a big ol' to-do list for today. The problem is that there is so much to do, I don't even know where to start. It's crazy - I think just in the last couple of days, it's really starting to hit me that we are actually moving to POLAND. Yes. That would be Warsaw, Poland - Land of Poles. Before it was more just a concept. Now I'm knee deep in the minutia of an major international move. And let me tell you - this is way beyond any move that I have ever made before.

When I moved from Austin to NYC in 2001, I literally showed up at my friend's Manhattan apartment with 2 suitcases. Of course, in the following 5 years, I amassed a load of crap (furniture, weird plates from Brooklyn flea markets, shoes.... lots and lots of shoes...). And so then when I moved to London, I left the furniture and weird dishes in NYC, packed up my random stuff in about 4 giant boxes, shipped them to my parents in Dallas, and took 2 suitcases to London.

I won't bore you with the details of every move - just trying to point out that there is a definite pattern to my previous moves that is being blown away by the prospect of us having to secure a 40 ft container to send our belongings. Why, oh, why did I finally buy my dream couch - leaving it here isn't really an option.

The choices I didn't even know I had - door to port? Port to door? Port to Port? Do we want to load everything ourselves? Or is it actually worth it to pay the extra $1000 to have them load everything? Where are we going to load it? Dallas? Houston? What if the container shifts on the ocean? Is the car going to get all fucked up? How much insurance do we need? Can we leave it in Gdynia for longer than a week? Or do we have to be there ASAP when it arrives? Luckily, I think we're getting close to making final decisions about the container.

Lucky because for the next two weeks, life will be more about packing and moving stuff to my parents, where we will be staying for the last month and a half before we leave on our whirlwind trip to Poland via Thailand and India.

And that, my friends, is an entirely different post.

Just purchased!! ..new greatly extended body from Hong Kong.. 12o super wide panoramic view with 0.3mm Diameter Pin Hole, B-shutter and 130 f-stop! - Holga WPC! Can't wait!!!! o, and by the way.. having PinholeDesigner Software.. well life will be much easier.. Gimmie few more days.. Will load my favorite Velvia and share with you people!